A New Year is Here

2025 welcomes us with a strange familiarity. Like a friend that you thought was coming over that day but you forgot exactly what time they would arrive. When they came they didn’t knock, they just came in, took off their shoes and sat down on your couch. They are here now, you’re happy to see them, but it’s surprising. So what do you do but bring out the coffee and cake you prepped for them?

At least that is the way coming into 2025 feels like to me. 

Our first year here in Nanaimo has come to a close and we wrap up our holiday parties with looking back at what God has done and then forward to the next year and what He will do. 

I will say that it has many mixed feelings. Joy over many a blessing and loss over many a hope changed to something I didn’t expect. 

Last time we updated you, we had finished the summer outreaches to the housing complexes around the south end of the city. It had gone well and we looked forward to continued ministry there throughout the fall. We were indeed able to go back several more times over the fall as we had planned. YWAM hosted events at one of the complexes that brought together neighbours that had never met and kids that had never played together. We brought food and the love of God into their world and found more open doors for that to continue. 

Last time, Matt was getting back involved in ministry and that has continued. He even is now on the worship team at church, doing something that he loves and has done since he was a teenager. Matt continues to homeschool the kids and have them full time. The kids have adjusted to life here so well and love the chance to be around family who live much closer. They were able to visit Michigan for American Thanksgiving, meeting family and friends back there and enjoying some real snow! 

Myself and little Baby Dean (not born yet, don’t worry, you didn’t miss that) stayed home from the big Michigan trip and I continued to work as kitchen manager at Island Crisis Care Society (ICCS) and with YWAM preparing for the onboarding of new staff. With growing a baby, running a business at ICCS and all the rest of life it has been hard to have much time for ministry. This has been a hard thing for me as ministry is what I love and have done for my whole adult life. Matt, who is with the kids all day and home schooling, also has had fewer times to be involved in the ministry with YWAM. 

It is with this in mind that we started asking ourselves a question this Fall, one that I hoped never to arrive at: Has our time in missions as a profession come to an end...

Now, if you have heard my story, you will have probably heard that I got the call to missions as a sixteen year old. I had a picture, as if like a dream, when I was in a church service at camp where I saw a map of the world. Three regions, three people groups, and I heard a voice say to ‘tell them that I loved them’. This, as you can imagine, was revolutionary for a young person. I settled it as my calling, and so, a missionary I resolved to be.

You can also imagine that I thought that following God as best I could would eventually lead me to these regions and to these people. But in the course of my time in missions -- at every season change, for every outreach, during every transition -- I would ask Him, "Is it time now? Can I go now?" and the answer was always, “No...” So we would go elsewhere. This frustrated me in different seasons and none more so then when we felt His leading to soon end our time in missions. It didn't make sense. With such a clear call, I could not just walk away.

It has been a few months of wrestling and prayer and talking to mentors and elders in my life for counsel. It has been a season of pulling away, not from people, but my own heart and ambition from a dream that God gave. If He wants to complete it, He will. I have tried, often pushed harder then I should have in my own strength. But only He can move that mountain not me.

So know that when I say, I, Gillian, no longer work with YWAM, I do not say it lightly. I say it with months of prayer and tears and struggle and hope behind it.

Matt will continue with the YWAM team for a few more months, and we are working on his permanent residency and open work permit so that he will be able to work in Canada when the baby is born. For him, as it has been for both of us, this has been a process of prayer and seeking God for direction.

When it all comes down to it, this is what we believe is the healthiest path forward for our family: for our health, for our finances, and for our future.

Though our season in missions is not completely over, the end in sight, I am happy to say that I feel so much peace. Though it has been hard to feel like God is leading us in a different direction entirely then what I imagined when I was sixteen, there is peace in knowing He is with us; that He gave the promise so long ago and He will fulfill it. That He is the good shepherd who guides us on.

One of the pivotal stories in YWAM's history is the story of the first missions ship they purchased. They meant to send it with teams of young missionaries and doctors around the world. But God asked them to lay it down. It had become an idol for the founders. God asked them to let that dream die, trusting He would make good of it. Years later, ships became part of YWAM again this time not as the end in itself but more the means to an end; God's story, not their own.

Maybe this is what is happening in our family. I can not say for I can not see the future, though sometimes it seems I can glimpse over the trees of my present moment and see the destination far beyond. Other days it seems like the trees are too tall, the road winds away from me and the sky above is grey and lifeless.

Writing these newsletters has always been a chance for me to remember the bigger picture. To take a moment and look over the trees to where we are heading and what God is doing. I hope that through our lives, you are reminded that yours is not so dark and the path is not hopeless. That God has a future for you even better then you imagined. For He is the light to our path and the way maker; He not only knows the way, but He has made it with you in mind.

We will continue to update you all as our journey in YWAM ends and our ‘normal’ life begins. Though we are expectant in this new year for God to move we are very aware we don’t know how things will work out. How will Matt get his work permit in time for the baby to arrive? And will there be a job readily available on the other side of that? Will I be any good at home schooling the kids and can I do it with a new born baby? So we ask that you would continue to pray for us.

For those of you that have supported us financially though all these years, we are so grateful, words can not say. These are our last months in missions before the baby comes and though our capacity is very limited for ministry, we hope that you will continue to support our efforts as we end our time in missions strong. 

For Matthew and I, we look forward to a year of challenges and hope. Change is never easy but through it we see a future that is bright and full of promise. 

We hope to have you all along for the journey with us as our road turns in new ways. 

Much love,

Gillian, Matthew, Elaina, Emeth and Baby Dean